Heading back home - 2
"You might be my biological father, but I am not your son".
Sebastian took a deep breath after hearing that statement from Raymond. It was nothing less than a merciless blow to the heart of a father who wanted nothing but the well being of his son, in his own weird ways.
"You will always be my son Raymond", he said, pinching the space between his brows, because he was clueless as to when and how he would be able to get a place in his heart.
Every time Raymond heard the word 'son' from his mouth, he could cringe from the bottom of his heart. He wanted to pelt the stones of anger at him. So he said.
"I may be your son, but you will never be my father. I never have given the right to do that. And never in my life, you will hear the word, father coming from my mouth for you".
Saying that Raymond disconnected the call and leaned back on his seat. There were hundreds of things running in parallel in his mind.
He remembered the day when her mom had jumped off from the terrace because of this man. He remembered the times when Sebastian had denied to even look at his or Katherine's face for a month or so after their mom had passed away. They needed him the most at that time, but all that they got was neglect.
The anger that he had festered in his heart ever since had become all tenacious, spreading through each and every cell in his body, converting Sebastian from his father to the person he had hated the most in his entire life.
He had never considered the suicide of his mother as a suicide. He always considered Sebastian as the murderer who made her do so. He might not have pushed her, but he was the one who made her go the brim of despair from where she had no meaning for her existence.
Throughout his school days, he always used to feel that his family was dysfunctional. On holidays when other families planned outings with their kids, they stayed at home, engaging themselves in board games and stuff. Basically anything that didn't involve the family together.
He knew there was always something wrong between his parents. There was no factor of romance, there was no love in between them. But somehow he felt that there was a weird way in which his mom used to obey by his father's rules. She never objected to him, nor spoke a word against him. She was more like a housekeeper than a wife.
She had always taken good care of him like a diligent wife, starting from his medicines to getting his clothes all dry cleaned and organized. But no matter what she did, his father was never happy or satisfied with her. There was always some weird sort of distance in between them.
His father Sebastian, although he never misbehaved with his mother, there was always weird energy in between them. Something that felt suffocating. So he knew from a very young age that even though she was the wife of a business tycoon and had all the riches that she wanted, she was never happy from within.
Her heart had always been hollow, searching for warmth and love.
He never had any happy memories to cherish with Sebastian to be specific.
The only time they had a proper Thanksgiving dinner in which the whole family sat together was the time when his uncle Conrad was in town and he had forced them all to be together to have a thanksgiving dinner just like a normal family.
That was the only happy memory he had of his mother and his father sitting together on the table and chatting with each other like normal people.
That day's memory was all vivid in his mind. Although he wasn't able to recollect any of the faces, he remembered how happy Katherine was. She had worn that expensive purple dress which Sebastian had got for her.
That was the time when Sebastian had tried to act like a family man and they also reciprocated equally. So even though Katherine hated him even more than how Raymond did, she wore that dress just to make him feel welcomed.
He could clearly visualize that tiny drop of tear and his mothers glistening eyes, as they raised their glasses together for a toast.
That was one hell of a memory which was very close and dear to his heart. The only memory when the five of them sat happily and talked. The only memory that was worth cherishing as a family.
This could sound very normal to anyone, but that dinner was something very special because that was the day when for the first time Sebastian had said,
"You are looking very beautiful today, Rose !!!"